Utah Really?
by VCLvcl123
Summary: When Montgomery's sister in law is murdered Castle and Beckett must travel to Utah to solve her murder. Will Castle be able to resist doing something that might screw up their relationship and what does Kate do when she starts pealing his onion layers?
1. Chapter 1

**Okay so this idea was roaming around in my head and i just had to get it out. I am feeling like i am loosing steam on my other story so i am writing this to distract myself for a while. I really hope you like it. **

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Kate walked up to the crime scene, the red and blue lights flashing across her face. Castle watched and waited next to Lanie. Kate felt his eyes on her the whole time. She had been noticing it more and more lately and it seemed to really get under her skin. She called him on it about a week ago and he brushed off as zoning out. She herself tried to just brush it off as well. She didn't want anything to become complicated. The thing is that he seemed to be 'zoning out' a lot lately.

"Hey Lanie, what do we got?" Kate asked. Lanie finished looking at something on the hand of the girl.

"Her name is Kara Lacer. COD is two GSW's to the chest." Lanie said.

Lacer? Something about that name seemed familiar. As Kate thought about this she heard a car door shut behind her. Turning around she saw Montgomery.

"Captain?" Kate asked. She saw the same surprised looks on Ryan and Esposito's faces.

"Detectives." He said looking a little sad. That's when it came to Kate. Lacer was his wife's maiden name.

"Oh my god. Roy, I'm sorry." Kate said. Castle was standing at her side looking quite clueless. Montgomery looked at the body for only a moment before shaking his head and turning away. "Captain how do you want us to do this?" Kate asked.

"Work it like any other case. I will call my wife; tell her to come in so we can tell her." He said.

"Okay. See you back at the precinct." Kate said.

…. …. …. ….. …. … …

"Do you know why she was there?" Kate asked. She had waited for a decent amount of time before asking questions.

"No. Kara was supposed to be visiting my mom. She has been there for weeks." Montgomery's wife, Sherrie, said through soft sobs.

"And where does your mom live?" Kate asked.

"She's in a home, in Utah." Sherrie said. Kate nodded and wrote it down. "I don't understand why she wasn't there. Mom called me and told me how much fun they were having every day. Why would she be back in New York?" Kate wrote down that she had arrived in Utah one month ago and had been there ever since.

….. …. … …. …. …. ….

"I'm so sorry sir." Kate said. Montgomery was pacing in his office.

"I'm not allowed to work this case. I was called and told this about twenty minutes ago." Montgomery said. Kate's brow furrowed a bit.

"Sir, shouldn't we be letting the police in Salt Lake handle it now. We searched her records. She had a used plane ticket to Utah and all of her last purchases leading up to yesterday afternoon were made in Utah." Kate said. The captain turned and looked at her as if he was trying to make a tough decision. Finally he spoke.

"I want you to do it." He said. Did he mean work the case? She would certainly do what she could but from here that wasn't a lot.

"I can't do much from here. People she may have met in Utah need to be questioned." Kate said. She felt bad that she had to say she couldn't. She would love to be able to bring the captain and his family closure.

"I know. I want you to do it from Utah. When they called to tell me I couldn't work the case I asked if you and your team could. They brought up what you are bringing up but I said I wanted you to do it. That I trusted you and your team more than anyone. After talking for a while they finally agreed." He said. _Whoa! Is he saying I'm heading to Utah? _Kate thought to herself.

"Sir, the precinct needs me here." She said.

"We will manage fine without you for a couple days. Please Kate; I know that you can figure this out faster and more efficiently than anyone." Kate looked at Montgomery's sad features. He was asking her for a favor and after everything he had done for her Kate couldn't turn him down.

"Okay sir, I will do it." She said. A smile twitched at the corners of his lips but never actually broke through.

"Thank you Kate. It's already arranged, the four of you will leave tomorrow morning." He said and then gathered his things to head home.

"Wait a minute, the four of us?" Kate really hoped he meant Ryan, Esposito, Lanie and herself.

"Uh, yeah, you and the boys and Castle. That won't be a problem will it?" _YES! _Kate wanted to tell him there was no way she was going on a sort of work/vacation with Castle, but he had already been through enough today.

"No, that's fine." _except that it's not. _

Kate left Mongomery to do whatever it was he was doing. All three boys were sitting by the murder board but were not looking at it, they were looking at her.

"Road trip." Castle said with a smile.

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**So i hope you like it. If you did please review and there will be more to come. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, i just want everyone to know that i am having this be based in December rather than October. I know in October it started getting cold and snowy and stuff in Utah but in December you know there is snow on the ground. **

**Side note-i will be in Utah friday picking up my dog! Yay!**

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"I don't see why this is such a problem." Lanie said. Kate shot her with her best death glare before putting another long sleeve shirt in her suitcase.

"You wouldn't." Kate said sarcastically. "I'm going to be in Utah for god knows how long with… him." Kate said. Lanie looked like she was thinking about it for a bit.

"I wouldn't mind." Lanie said jokingly.

"Seriously though, I don't know how I will be able to handle it." Kate said. She made sure she packed her jacket then zipped her suitcase up.

"Just think of it this way, if you get to cold you always have a snuggle buddy." Lanie said and then dodged the pillow Kate threw at her. "I wish I could come, I'm a hell of a skier." Kate gave Lanie a questioning look.

"I didn't know you know how to ski."

"Oh yeah. I used to go with my dad." Lanie said. Kate thought about it. Skiing was something she tried once and decided against because she fell a lot. Lanie helped her haul her crap to the living room and they were about to plop down on the couch when the door bell rang. Kate opened it to see Castle standing smiling.

"What are you doing here?" She questioned. Their flight wasn't for another four hours.

"I got our flight changed, we leave in an hour." He said brushing past her and gathering her stuff.

"Well I'd love to stay and chat but I have a date with the morgue." Lanie said. She hugged Kate goodbye and left.

"What do you mean you got our flight changed?" Kate questioned as Castle set her suitcase at the door and went back for her carry on.

"I decided such fine detectives like you and the guys shouldn't have to ride coach. I got us first class seats." Castle said. _This is so like him! _Kate didn't like to have someone else paying for things this expensive for her. She couldn't do anything to change that now though.

"Are you sure you just didn't want to fly coach?" Kate asked trying not to show that she was kind of excited to see what it was like to fly first class.

"Honestly, that is part of it. But also I want you all to be able to rest and relax before actually starting the case. Flying coach is not the way to do that." Kate felt her anger at him for being somewhat conceited slip away. The fact that he cared about her getting her R&R gave her warm fuzzy feelings when she didn't want it to.

"Or you just didn't want to get bored if you flew first class by yourself." Kate joked. The slight awkward silence left and things were back to being at ease.

"Yeah, I can only entertain myself for a short time." He joked back. She reached for her suitcase but he didn't let her take it. He handed her the carry on bag and grabbed the suitcase himself. It was weird having him carry her things.

The taxi ride to the airport was silent but not that awkward silence from before. Now it was a comfortable silence. Kate loved coming to the airport. She loved the feeling of vacation somewhere far away. She always hated plain road trips. They took way to long. She also likes watching the different people that arrived and left.

She liked that she didn't have to wait in the long line of people at the metal detectors. She flashed her badge they scanned her bag and she was on her way. Or at least she would be if she didn't have to wait for Castle. As she waited she found the boys. They had arrived just before her and Castle.

"Coffee?" Ryan offered.

"Sure." He trotted away to the star bucks while she waited with Esposito for Castle.

"It was awful nice of your boy to get us first class seats. Did you thank him?" Esposito asked in his brotherly tone.

"Not in so many words." Kate said sheepishly. Esposito raised an eyebrow at her and shook his head. Just as Castle made it to the other side of the detector a small group of girls in their early twenties ran up. Cameras flashed and Castle signed various things.

Kate felt herself grow a tad bit envious and it scared her. She pushed those feelings aside and took her coffee from Ryan as he came back. A girl grabbed Castle and kissed him square on the lips. Kate saw her mouth 'call me' to him as she slid a paper into his jacket.

"Whoa, Beckett, chill." Ryan said gesturing to her cup. Apparently she had been squeezing it because it was now deformed and the lid wasn't on right.

"This is going to be a long flight." Kate mumbled to herself. Castle walked up to them with a smile on his face.

"You've got a little lipstick on your face." Kate said harsher then she wanted it to sound.

Castle wiped it off and gave Kate and apologetic look. "It's just that she…" He began but Kate cut him off.

"No need to explain. I really don't care." Kate said and instantly regretted it. Castle sucked in some air and tried to hide that what she said just hurt him. The boys were looking at them shaking their heads.

"Sorry." He mumbled. Kate didn't know what to say that would change what she said without things getting awkward so she just turned and walked towards their gate.

"Nicely done bro." Esposito said and Kate could hear a high five from behind her.

"Man, I wish that would happen to me when I came to the airport." Ryan said. Kate tried to ignore them as she found a seat to sit and wait for the plane.

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**Pretty please review. I love reviews. More review's equalls more story because reviews are my fuel. So review if you like it, or if you dont, or just to say hi. Thanks. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Super sorry its taking so long for me to update. Hope you are liking it.**

**Oh, and what happens with the plane actually happened to me. We were coming from super hot Arizona to Super cold Utah and we skidded in. **

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Castle watched as Kate looked around the cabin of the plane. He knew it all amazed her, even if she wouldn't admit it. First class was ten times better then coach. Castle sat next to Kate on one side of the plane while Esposito and Ryan were on the other. They were told to fasten their seatbelts and the plane started to move. Castle was not afraid of flying but he really didn't like taking off. He tried to just sit back and relax. Kate seamed to love it though. She was staring out the window the whole time. Watching the ground get farther and farther away.

He was glad to know that he had made her happy today. Even if she wouldn't admit it to anyone, she liked that he had gotten them first class.

… ….. … ….. ….. …. . .. …..

"So we won't be landing until six o'clock. After we get off the plane and get our luggage it will be close to seven. The nursing home won't let us in to see her until tomorrow so we will head straight to the hotel." Kate said to the whole group. They all went back to their seats and Ryan and Esposito got headphones for the movie.

"So where are we staying?" Castle asked. Kate grabbed the paper work concerning where they would be staying and for how long from her carry on.

"The Holiday Inn Express." Kate said. Castle nodded as if in approval.

"So, have you ever been to Utah?" Castle asked. Kate thought about it for a moment.

"No, I don't think so." She said. Castle smiled a mischievous smile.

"What?" She asked. She hated that he looked like he knew something she didn't.

"You packed a coat right?" He asked.

"I packed a jacket, why?' Kate knew it would be cold. She wasn't an idiot.

"You'll see." He said and he sat back, grin still in place. After a while she felt his eyes on her.

"What?" She asked without even turning to look at him.

"Nothing." He said sounding slightly embarrassed.

"You know, our arrangement of you following me doing research is for you to right books not paint a picture so I am pretty sure you don't need to memorize what I look like." She said looking away from the window.

"But you are so nice to look at, detective." He said playfully. She felt herself blush. _Did he just call me pretty? _She thought to herself. They were staring at each other. For the first time since she entered first class it felt small. Like everyone was closer to each other. Especially Castle. His knee brushed hers and she felt butterflies in her stomach. She found herself lost in his eyes. His blue eyes were like the ocean. Beautiful and never ending.

She quickly turned away, breaking eye contact. She couldn't let him do this to her. Not again. She looked back out the window. They were in a cloud now so there wasn't much to look at. Before long Kate felt herself drifting off to sleep.

….. … …. ….. …. ….. …

Castel knew he shouldn't have said that, but he didn't regret it. He saw how it affected her. He saw the color flow to her cheeks. He loved how she hated when he did that to her. After they had their little moment she turned away. He could tell she didn't want to talk. He tried not to look at her. It was hard for him though. He found it so easy to get lost in her features. It was even harder when she leaned on his shoulder. She was asleep and didn't realize what she was happening. Her hair smelled so good, like cherries.

Castle got her a blanket from the flight attendant and covered her up. He looked over and saw the boys staring at them. Ryan laughed quietly and Esposito just shook his head. Before long Castle felt himself drifting off to sleep.

….. …. … ….. ….. … …..

Kate woke up to the captain saying they were beginning their decent. She realized her head was on _his _shoulder and quickly lifted it. He was still asleep. His arm was wrapped lazily around her. She carefully moved it and sat up fully. She looked over at the boys. Hopefully they didn't see.

Castle woke up and looked around, trying to get his bearings.

"Are we there yet?" He asked.

"Almost." She said. He looked at her and smiled. How long had she been sleeping on him?

…. … ….. … … ….. ….

The captain said that there was a storm and it might be a bumpy landing and that everyone needed to stay seated. He said there was nothing to worry about but Castle still felt worried. Taking off and landing were his least favorite parts of flying. He saw the lights of the city getting closer and closer. The plane shook a little but nothing serious. When the wheels touched the runway the plane skidded and it felt like it might spin out of control. Castle, without realizing it, grabbed a hold of Kate. Once the plane stopped Castle looked at Kate. She was staring at him, wide eyed.

"Scared of flying Castle?" She asked with a smile.

"Uh, no. Sorry." He said releasing his grip. "Sorry."


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, so there are some little parts in this chapter that dont really have anything to do with anything but i felt like adding them in just because. I know this kind of seems slow paced but i have written other stories where i end up going to fast and they end bad so i am trying to keep this slow and steady. Hope you like it. **

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"Holy shit! It's freezing out here." Esposito said as they exited the airport. They had just spent the last forty five minutes arguing with the rent-a-car people. Apparently they didn't arrive in time and they gave the car to someone else. Now they had to find a different way to get to the hotel.

Kate looked from side to side. No taxi's. She spotted an express check baggage worker and thought she would ask him if he knew how they would get to where they are going.

"Wait here." She said to the boys as she jogged over. The cold wind bit at her ears and nose. "Excuse me?" She said to the guy. He looked up at her looking as cold as she already felt. He had wavy dark brown hair that stuck to his head because it was wet. He had brown eyes and a little bit of frozen stubble on his face. "Do you know if there will be any more taxi's coming by tonight?" She asked. He smiled at her as if she said something funny.

"I take it you're not from around here." He said and she shook her head. "Well, in this weather all the taxi drivers are staying in, but there should be a bus coming by in about twenty minutes. Where do you need to go?" He asked.

"The Holiday Inn Express on 200 North 2100 West." She said. Again he smiled.

"That's about two blocks from here. The bus will take you there." He said. _Two blocks, why take the bus? _She thought to herself.

"How long is it walking distance?" She asked.

"You don't want to walk from here. You'll be frozen by the time you get there. If I were you I would wait for the bus." He said.

"Okay, thanks…" She looked at his nametag. "Jason." She said.

"No problem." He said and then he brought his hands to his face and blew into them to warm them up. Kate walked over to the boys who were all shivering.

"We can go inside; we've got twenty minutes until the next bus." She said.

….. … …. ….. ….. … … …..

They all got situated at a little table with hot chocolate and waited. After about five minutes they all kind of stopped talking. They were cold and tired so there wasn't much to be said. Kate pulled the case file out of her carry on. She laid it out on the table to read up on the family history. She had planned on doing that on the plane but she had fallen asleep.

After a couple minutes she felt someone's eyes on her. She was going to snap if it was Castle. She looked up and saw Jason.

"That's gross. Is it real?" He asked pointing to the picture.

"Uh... yeah." Kate said. She quickly closed the file. "Did you need something?" She asked.

"Oh, yeah, the bus is here." He said shaking his head as if he was trying to shake away the memory of the picture.

"Okay thanks." She said.

"Yup." He said and then turned to leave. Then he turned back, his expression different. "Aren't you Richard Castle?" He asked.

"I am indeed." Castle said. He acted so normal when strangers recognized him.

"Then you must be… um… the chick Nikki is based off of huh?" He asked Kate.

"Uh… yeah, detective Kate Beckett." She said. He shook his head.

"That totally explains the picture." He said and then he turned and left. Kate was surprised he didn't ask for an autograph from Castle like everyone else.

… …. …. …. …. ….. …

Kate unlocked the hotel room door and they all walked in. Ryan flipped on the lights and the suite was lit up. There was a small kitchenette to the right and a bathroom to the left. They walked into the living room. There were two doors in the living room. One opened up to a room with two queen sized beds and the other to a king sized. Ryan and Esposito claimed the room with the two beds. They had their own bathroom so they were set. They said goodnight and shut the door. That left one big bed for Kate and Castle.

"I'll sleep on the couch." Castle said after a few minutes of awkward silence.

"You don't have to do…" He cut her off mid sentence.

"It's fine Beckett." He said. He set his stuff down next to the couch and looked at her. After a few moments of her not budging he grabbed her stuff and took it to the main room.

"Castle I can sleep on the couch. It doesn't bug me." She said.

"So can I." He protested.

"You got us first class; you should get to sleep in a bed." She said.

"I will, the couch has a pull out." He said. A few moments of angry glaring later Kate gave up. She relaxed her shoulder's and sighed, plopping down on the bed.

"Fine, but if we are here for longer then one day we will switch on and off." She said. He smiled in triumph and agreed. Then he did something that had Kate frozen in place. He walked over and kissed her on the forehead. He didn't seem to realize what he was doing. He quickly backed off and wouldn't look at her.

"Sorry, uh, force of habit, you know, with Alexis." He said and then walked to the door. "Good night." He said and left, closing the door behind him.

When she heard the door click she let out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding. At first she felt angry. But then she smiled remembering the way his lips felt only moments ago. They felt soft, sweet. _What the hell are you thinking! _Her mind shouted.

….. ….. …. ….. ….. ….. …. ….

Castle sat down on the couch and watched her door. He hadn't meant to do that. It really was just a force of habit. He was used to kissing his daughter goodnight. Sure he didn't think of Kate like a daughter in any way, but still. He closed his eyes and laid his head against the back of the couch. _You're slipping man. Don't do something to screw this up. _His mind told him. He had been struggling lately not to tell Kate how he felt. How she made him feel. The more time he spent with her the more his feelings grew. He had been trying to ignore them. Telling himself that if he acted on his feelings he might hurt Kate, and that was the last thing he wanted to do. He had to trust himself before he could do anything that dangerous, and lately, he didn't trust himself. Mainly because he knew what he was feeling ran deeper than just lust, and it scared him. He was so used to being able to keep people a safe distance from him ever since Kyra with his party boy act. But Kate squeezed through the cracks. She got in and was now stuck. He couldn't get her out no matter how hard he tried.

But he would have to try harder. If he wanted his relationship with Kate to last it would have to stay the way it was. Just friends.

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**Pretty please review. It would make me very happy. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, so this is just a tiny little chapter. Its more like an add on to last chapter. I was going to have it in the next one but i just couldnt wait. Hope you like it. Review. **

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A little past mid night Kate woke up to the sound of someone grunting and what sounded like metal being clanked together. She instantly reached for her gun. She quietly hopped out of bed, worried that if it was an intruder she would scare him away. She opened her door and the light from a lamp rushed into her room. She blinked a couple times to adjust her eyes. She didn't know if she wanted to laugh or get mad at what she saw in front of her. In one hand it was really funny, but in the other he really looked like he was struggling.

"Oh, sorry, did I wake you?" Castle asked moving away from the half pulled out couch bed. Kate didn't want to say yes and hurt his feelings but if she said no he would know it was a lie.

"What are you doing?" She asked. Castle looked at the bed, and then back at her. He looked very tired.

"It's stuck." He said and gave it a good push pull to show her. "I was trying to be quiet." He said. "When it wouldn't come out I was just gonna put it back in and sleep on the normal couch but it won't go in either."

"I see." Kate contemplated her next decision for a good amount of time. Finally, she decided it would only be one night and they could get this fixed in the morning. "I guess… you can sleep with me." She said and the smile on his face said he took that in a way only he would. "But you have to stay way on the other side of the bed." She said.

They walked into her room and she climbed into her side. Castle sat down and dug through his bag for a minute. Then he went to the bathroom to change and brush his teeth. When he came back he was in a T-shirt and very comfy looking pajama pants. He lay down on the bed next to her and she felt a tingle of excitement run up her spine.

"Thank you Ka… Beckett." He said and he turned off the bedside lamp.

"I meant what I said, you stay on your side." She said.


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay. I have to say that i am kind of proud of myself. Not only am i doing good at updating fast, but also, apparently the writing is good because all you awesome readers who review seem to love it. ****So this chapter has a lot of embaressment on Kates part and i just want you to know, Castle will have his turn at being embaressed. **

**oooo gues what. The other day my mom woke up and there were four lady bugs on her ceiling. Of course she freaked out but i thought it was kind of cool. She made me catch them all and then let them outside. **

**Well, enjoy the chapter. **

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Castle woke up with the feeling of satisfaction. He didn't know why exactly, until he realized where he was and who he was with. Lying on the bed next to him was Kate Beckett. He had kept his promise and stayed on his side of the bed, she, however, did not. Her head was on his chest and she had an arm wrapped tightly around him. He could feel her legs brush against his and it made him shiver. He looked over at the alarm clock. It was almost seven. If the alarm didn't go off at seven Kate must not have set it because he couldn't see her sleeping in past seven on a work day.

He decided he would just wait for her to wake up. He wasn't uncomfortable. In fact, he could stay like this for hours. The smell of her cherry shampoo once again floated through his nose. It was so intoxicating. It was a smell he would always and forever remember as her. He studied the curves of her face. She looked so peaceful asleep, like nothing has ever hurt her even though she had scars. Scars that ran deep. If Castle could do anything to help it nothing would ever hurt her again.

She stirred slightly. Her chin lifted so he had a better view of her face and one of her legs wound its way through his. It took every ounce of Castle's power not to do something he knew he would regret. A few breaths later and her eyes fluttered open. She looked up and him and smiled and her eyes closed again. Then her whole body stiffened and she opened her eyes again. This time, when she looked at him her face flooded with color. She rolled over and scooted as far away as she could.

"Good morning." He said not even trying to hide the smile on his face.

"I thought I told you to stay on your side of the bed." She said. He let out a small chuckle.

"I am on my side." He gestured to the edge. "See. It is you who couldn't stay away from me." He said. Her face turned even brighter red. The wild hair with the addition of her blushing made her look very sexy. Then she bit her lip and Castle had to try hard again not to do something he would regret.

"Yeah right." She said. After a few moments of awkward silence she removed the covers and stood up. "I'm gonna take a shower. Will you wake the boys for me if they aren't already up?" She asked.

"Yeah. No problem. What do you want for breakfast?" He asked before she got to the bathroom door.

"Um… surprise me." She said and then she closed the door. Castle removed his covers and stood up. He started to walk when something wrapped around his foot. He picked it up and a smile spread on his face. In his hands he held a very expensive looking, lacey bra. He thought about it for a moment. He didn't think he had anything to do with it leaving her body. At least he hoped he didn't. If he did he would want to remember it. He set it aside and decided to make the bed.

After the bed looked all nice and neat he laid the bra across her pillow. He knew she would be embarrassed when she saw it but too embarrassed to bring it up.

Castle quietly left the room and turned and was face to face with Esposito. He raised an eyebrow.

"I wondered where you were. Do you care to explain?" He asked in his brotherly tone. He was very protective when it came to Kate. Ryan came up behind him. He too raised an eyebrow.

"Nope." Castle said as he squeezed past them and went straight to the kitchen. They hadn't made coffee. Castle decided he would just go out for coffee and get everyone the usual. This way he could avoid further conversation on the matter of him coming out of Kate's room.

….. … ….. ….. … ….. …..

Kate didn't want to get out of the shower because it would be cold but she didn't have all day. She reached for a towel and wrapped it around herself before stepping out. That's when she realized that she had left the room in such a hurry that she forgot to grab her bag. She had no clothes in here. Making sure the towel was securely on she opened the door to the bedroom a crack. She looked around, no sign of Castle.

She darted out of the bathroom and grabbed her bag. She was on her way back to the bathroom when she saw it. Lying on her pillow like that was where it belonged, was her bra. She thought back to last night. Didn't she fall asleep with it on? No she had to have taken it off before going to bed. She hoped. She snatched it from the pillow and shoved it into her bag. Then, the bedroom door opened.

Castle waltzed in with to-go coffee in hand, shut the door behind him, and froze. He squeezed his eyes shut and turned around.

"Sorry." He said.

"Don't look." She said as she backed away towards the bathroom door.

"Sorry." Was all he said again.

….. .. … . ….. ….. ….. …. .

After getting dressed Kate contemplated actually leaving the bathroom or staying in there forever. This had to be the most embarrassing morning of her life. Not only had she snuggled with Castle, but also she left her bra out for him to find and he saw her in only a towel. _I hate Utah! _She thought to herself. So far nothing good had happened.

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**Like it? Review? Please. Just click that button down at the bottom in the middle. good things will happen if you do. like, i'll smile, and then i'll update sooner because i will be happy. And then you will want to review and let me know what you thought. And then it's kind of like LATHER RINSE REPEAT. So review. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay, so this chapter is mainly based around castle and the case. You get to learn a little bit more about Castle's onion layers and in the next chapter Kate will get to find out. Hope you like it.**

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"So Ryan and Esposito I want you to go down to the SLPD and let them know we are here. I'll take Castle to go interview the mother." Kate said. She hadn't looked in Castle's direction the whole time they had been eating breakfast. She knew if she looked at him, and if he smiled that childish smile, she would blush, and then the boys would know.

Sometimes she kind of wished she could take Ryan or Esposito with her and give them Castle for a while. But Castle wasn't writing books on them and she didn't want to put them through that torture. Plus, although she wouldn't admit it to herself, she would be kind of jealous to have him working with a different cop.

….. …. … … …. ….. …

They jumped in a cab and Kate gave the cabbie the address. Ten minutes later they arrived at the home. They went inside and Castle instantly had flash backs to when his great aunt was in a home. He remembered visiting her with his mother. They would come during activity times and play bingo or watch old movies or listen to old music. He remembered his aunt used to dance with this man named Bert. He was so in love with her. She thought he was a real catch too. Of course to Castle it was weird because, to him, they were too old to date and fall in love. He remembered Bert asking him if he thought proposing would be a good idea. Castle had told him that it was okay with him as long as he understood his aunt Fran was his first. Bert said that was okay. They never did have a wedding though. She got too old. Castle shivered at the memory.

"Anybody in there?" Kate asked. She was standing in front of him now with a concerned look on her face. "Castle is you okay?" She asked.

"Uh, yeah. I'm fine." He said but he could tell Kate knew he wasn't. He missed his great aunt. Truth is that he spent more time as a child with her then with his mother. And Bert was the only real father figure he knew.

They were escorted down a hall towards the rooms. The reached number 214 and the nurse left. They knocked and after a couple seconds a cute little old lady answered the door.

"What!" Grace, Montgomery's mother in law said. Then Kate showed her badge and explained why they were there. "Oh, sorry, I thought you were more lawyers." She said.

"Lawyers?" Castle asked. She still hadn't let them inside.

"Oh, never mind that." She said as she shut her door. "My room is a mess so how about we go to the cafeteria." She said and she led them towards the lunch room. They stopped only once when another lady asked Grace if they were more lawyers. Castle couldn't help but wonder why she was worried about lawyers.

"So, I was expecting you guys yesterday. What happened?" She asked when they set down.

"Oh, our flight didn't get in until late. We didn't want to bother you." Kate said. Then Kate began asking the routine questions. When did your daughter get here? When was the last time you saw her? Did she know anyone else here? Where was she staying? Castle tuned out after a bit. He kept having flash backs to spending time with his aunt. After a bit he excused himself. He knew there would be something more exciting going on somewhere else. Kate didn't need to know that was his reason for leaving tough.

Castle wandered down the hall passing the swimming pool, which he didn't even glance at, that was just something he didn't need to see. He passed a room with some people doing puzzles. Then he found the room he was looking for. The room all the guys were always in. The room consisted of one pool table, and three smaller tables. One for checkers, one for chess, and one for cards. He sat down at the card table where three older men sat shuffling cards.

"Care if I join you?" He asked.

"If you think you can handle it." The short pudgy guy on his left said. Castle smiled.

"I think I can." He said.

"Deal him in then." The bald guy on his right said. The guy across from him, with the cards smiled.

"Just because we're old doesn't mean we aren't good at cars son, you sure you wanna do this? We're playing for real money here." The dealer said.

"Excuse me?" One of the nurses said, raising an eyebrow.

"Okay, not real money because Alice here doesn't like us to, but we've got poker chips."

"I can handle myself." He said. Castle loved to play cards. Especially with other guys who were really just in it for fun. He could tell these guys were in it for fun. The guy dealt the cards and they began.

So, did you guys ever meet Grace Lacer's daughter?" Castle asked after a while. They all smiled.

"Do you mean, Kara Lacer?" One of them, Jim, asked.

"Yeah." Castle said. They obviously knew her.

"She was a lot of fun." Charles said. "She always came in here around three or four. She would play pool with me and Ernie." Ernie was shuffling the cards again. He smiled and his eyes were glazing over.

"Let's just say, it was nice to have someone so full of life in here." He said.

"Do you know what happened to her? A couple days ago she disappeared, didn't say goodbye or anything, and then yesterday Grace was all upset and wouldn't leave her room." Jim asked.

"Well honestly, she was murdered." Castle said. He wasn't used to talking about cases without Kate next to him so it was kind of weird.

"Doesn't that just bite!" Ernie said. "She was such a nice girl."

"Do you know who did it?" Charles asked.

"Not yet. I was actually hoping you guys might know something. When she was in here, did she ever talk about a boyfriend, or any close friends?" They all shared a glance and then looked back at Castle.

"Well, she talked about some friends, a guy named Billy, some girl named Ashley and her twin sister Amber. But mainly she talked about one person." Ernie said.

"Who?" Castle asked.

"I don't know if we should tell you. She told us not to tell Grace." Jim said. The others nodded.

"Did you say you were a cop?" Ernie asked. Castle thought about how to tell them. He was used to Kate explaining things. People didn't care much once they saw Kate's badge.

"Not exactly. I work with the police." Castle said and then he saw out the door and down the hall Kate and Grace were slowly making their way towards him. Kate had a slightly angry slightly confused look on her face. "I work with Detective Beckett, she right there." He pointed. "So if you don't want grace to know you should tell me now." Castle said. Charles nodded.

"Okay, here it is. It's not that big of a deal to us but to her it was a big secret. She was dating a girl." Charles said. Castle nodded.

"Do you know her name?" He asked.

"Yeah, her name was Sammy." Ernie said.

"Do you know her last name?" Castle asked. Kate and Grace were right by the door now.

"Nope, but we do know that she works up at Brighton. It's a ski resort up in the mountains. Apparently she's an instructor. Hope this helps." Jim said as Castle stood.

"Thank you gentlemen." Castle said shaking each of their hands. Now it was time to figure out what Kate got.

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**Please review. I love reviews. They are fuel to my writing fire. All you other fellw writers out there know how awesome you feel when you get reviews so why not help me out. REVIEW! O.o**


	8. Chapter 8

**Super sorry it is taking me so long. I kinda wrote this chapter in a hurry so i dont think it is as good as it could be but i do like it. I hope you do to. Please please please review. **

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"It's killing you isn't it?" Castle asked as Kate sat across from him sipping her saspirella. They were at a cut little restaurant called Robintinos. Instead of root beer you could get a saspirella in a glass bottle. Castle thought it was the coolest thing and made Kate get one too.

"What do you mean?" Kate asked even though she knew what he meant. It was killing her. After she had told him what she got from Grace he told her he knew something else. He wouldn't tell her though. He said it could wait until after lunch. She proceeded to tell him that if it could be relevant to the murder that she needed to know but he wouldn't say.

"That I know something you don't know." He said with his devilish grin. Kate couldn't help but smile. He looked so cute when he did that. It was supposed to annoy her but a couple months ago she began to like it. _What's wrong with you?_

"Nope, I don't care. I know plenty of things you don't know. And I have seen plenty of things that you only wish you have." She said teasingly. He took the bait.

"Do tell?" He asked, trying to seem cool. Kate smiled. She had him right where she wanted him.

"You couldn't handle it. I don't think even Nikki Heat could handle some of the things I know." Kate said teasing him with his job. It worked.

"Please tell me." He begged.

"I'll tell you later." She said and took a bite of her salad.

"Fine." Just like that he started to spill. When he told her about the girlfriend and the ski resort she knew they would have to go to the mountains so she called Ryan. He talked to the SLPD about getting them vehicle. After she got off the phone the waitress came and handed Castle his credit card. Kate hadn't even seen him give it to her.

"How did you?" She asked confused.

"You have your secrets, I have mine." He said teasing her like she had him. He didn't like the fact that she still hadn't told him anything even though he had told her.

They got up and as Kate went to put on her jacket Castle grabbed it for her. Holding it up for her to slide in. Her brow furrowed slightly but she didn't protest. As she slid both arms in his hands brushed her neck slightly, sending a tingle down her spine. They left the restaurant and made their way to the police station where they were warmly greeted.

"It's not every day we get a famous writer and his muse to help us." Detective Hunce said. She was a short brunette probably in her late twenties or early thirties. She had attached herself to Castle the moment they entered and she stayed their while they waited for the truck they were going to be taking.

"Well, we're just glad we can come help." Castle said with a smile. "I must say, you guys have a very well kept precinct. I like it." He said and Kate knew her eyes were turning greener with jealousy.

"Thank you Mr. Castle. We do the best we can." Hunce said scooting her chair a little closer to him. Kate looked at Esposito who just shrugged.

"Please, call me Rick." Castle said. Kate wanted to hit something. She had always just called him Castle, and she never minded until now. Now it seemed like Rick was forbidden. She felt foolish to think that, but it is how she felt.

"Rick it is." Hunce said, and then Ryan came in with perfect timing. Any longer and Kate might have done something she would later regret.

"Here are the keys." He said tossing them to Kate. "They told me it was one of their newer vehicles so please be careful." Ryan said.

"Will do." Kate said standing up. Castle followed her to the elevator and she could tell Hunce was trailing behind them.

"Ryan, Esposito, I want you guys to call Sherrie. Ask her if she knows the last names of any of Kara's friends. Then I want you to go to this place," Kate flipped through her notes. "It's called The Mayan. It's a restaurant next to a movie theater. According to her mom, that's where she went most." Kate said before she and Castle got on the elevator. Hunce gave Castle a little finger wave goodbye and he smiled.

…. … ….. ….. … ….. …. …

Kate was watching the road as they slowly made their way up the mountain. The traffic was terrible so it was taking them forever. The radio wouldn't work so aside for the occasional honk all Kate could hear was Castle tapping his hands on the dash board. She tried to ignore it, but it was soo annoying.

"Castle, please, stop." She said as nicely as she could. His hands slid to his lap and he looked out the passenger window.

"Do you want to play I spy?" Castle offered.

"No I'm good." Kate said. The only thing she wanted was to be at the top of this Damn Mountain so she could talk to Sammy.

….. ….. ….. ….

"Really?" Kate half whined. She was cold and tired and now this guy was telling her that Sammy had just gone up the mountain with a new group of kids, ready to learn to ski.

"I'm sorry. You could probably catch her if you go up now. She has to stop at the top and make sure everyone is ready to go. Then she will talk for a bit about what they are going to do. It will probably take ten to fifteen minutes. I could have you on the ski lift in three." The worker, Jeff, said. He gestured to the skis and boots behind him. Kate looked at Castle who had a huge grin on his face, and then she looked back at Jeff.

"What route is she taking?" Kate asked. He took that as a yes. As he mapped out the route two people grabbed boots and skis. Neither of them needed adjustments done so they were ready to go quite quickly. Kate shoved the map in her pocket and pulled on her hat and gloves. "Let's go." She said.

. …. …. ….. …. …. ….

Kate was obviously nervous when it came to getting off the ski lift. The machine slowed and they slid off, Castle looked much more professional then her. She wobbled a little bit but her pride was too big to let her fall. The scooted towards the side and pulled out the map. They got up here so quick they must have just missed Sammy.

Once they found their course they set off. Castle had to periodically stop and wait for Kate but he didn't mind. It started getting late and there became fewer and fewer people on the hill. Castle guessed Sammy was probably at the bottom by now but he didn't dare mention that to Kate. He was waiting by a sign when Kate, not wanting to seem as pathetic as she looked decided to get in front of Castle. She flew past him before skidding to a stop, almost looking like she knew what she was doing. Kate looked up, her eyes filled with anger. She never failed, at anything, so seeing this side of her was exciting for Castle. Castle could tell she had had some experience with skiing but she wasn't very good.

Castle skied down to her with a grin on his face. "Do you want to know a secret?" He asked.

"What!" She didn't seem like she was in the mood but it was something he needed to tell her.

"We are now on a black diamond path." He said. The look of horror spread across her face.

"Really?" She half whined again.

"No, not really." Castle said. He looked at his watch. They had been up here for forty minutes and hadn't found Sammy. "I do think we should take the easiest way back so we can get back sooner." Castle said. "This is taking so long. Maybe we will meet her at the bottom."

"Yeah, that sounds good." Kate said. Her nose was red and she looked like Rudolf.

When they reached the bottom Kate Pulled her skis off and practically through them at the guy. She hadn't had a fun experience the rest of the way down.

"Uh, Sammy left already." He said. "Sorry. I tried to catch her but I was busy it being the end of the day and all."

"Well, thanks for trying." Kate said. Her normal attitude was coming back now that she was warming up.

"I have some more bad news though." He said. He looked frightened of what Kate might say. She raised an eyebrow. "The roads are closed. You can't get back down the mountain." He braced himself for the worst. Kate took a deep breath and forced a smile.

"Where are we supposed to stay then?" She asked.

"Well, I told my manager you were here and he is like, such a big fan of your books, so he like called the lodge and they got you a room to stay in. the manager would like, love to meet you Mr. Castle so tomorrow morning before you leave he wants to have breakfast.

"Thank you that was really nice." Castle said. One thing stuck in his head though. Jeff had said they got _a _room. This meant that he was probably, once again, going to share a bed with Beckett. This thought made him smile.


	9. Chapter 9

**Well... here it is... i hope you guys like it. Please review and let me know. I dont feel like it's as good as you guys were expecting so please... Let me know. Review.**

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Castle and Kate had talked to lots of different people and all of them saying they had no idea what Kate was talking about she decided to give up. Castle kept saying he would get them a room but Kate was to mad to focus. Finally a short bald man came storming in. He was in a nice coat but he had pajamas on instead of normal pants.

"I am soo sorry Mr. Castle."He said. Castle shrugged obviously not knowing who this man was. "I'm Timothy Johnson, the manager of this fine establishment. I thought I got this all worked out before I left." He said. He fiddled with one of the computers. "Hmm… this is… wrong." He said with a frustrated look on his face. "We must be having a system malfunction." He looked up at the pair. "No matter, you two can stay with me at my cabin." He said. "I have extra space and I wouldn't want you two to have to deal with anything else tonight." He said walking towards the door. Not even waiting for them to respond. Castle looked at Kate who shrugged. She was tired and this man seemed harmless. She grabbed her purse and they were off. On the short ride to his cabin Tim didn't seem to take a breath. He kept saying how much he loved Castle and if he would sign his books he might die. Kate was pretty sure he was gay until he mentioned a wife. He said she would probably have something Kate would fit in. He also kept apologizing for them not being able to get down the mountain. Kate kept saying it wasn't his fault, it's not like he cause the roads to be soo slick. When they arrived at the cabin a lovely blonde lady opened the door for them. They walked in and the smell of a fire place raced up Kate's nose.

"Hi, I'm Janice, Tim's wife. It's so good to meet you. You know, Tim is such a big fan of yours." They showed them the main floor which consisted of a living room with a fire place, a dining room and kitchen and a bathroom. There was a downstairs which is where they were sleeping. There was also a loft area. That's where Castle and Beckett would be staying. They walked up the stair case to find no walls upstairs. The loft looked over the living room. There was a bed, a dresser, a desk, a small couch and a bookshelf.

Castle started moving some pillows and blankets to the couch when Kate decided he could sleep with her… again. He smiled his boyish smile and moved everything back. "Are you sure you will stay on your side though?" Castle joked. She smacked his chest, bringing them closer to one another. Kate didn't realize it but her hand was resting on his chest now. He moved his hand to rest over hers, drawing them closer. Their eyes were locked on one another's. Kate was sure something might happen, when Janice came up the stairs.

"Hey, I brought you those pajamas." She said, oblivious to what was going on. Kate backed away from Castle and walked to Janice. Castle stood, frozen in place. "You can change down stairs in the bathroom if you would like." Janice said. Kate took the clothes and left. "I've got something for you too." She said. "I know you're a bit taller than my husband but these will probably work." She said. "Rest well." She turned and left.

….. ….. ….. ….. ….. ….. ….

When Kate came back up to the room Castle was by the bookshelf, browsing. He was wearing pajama pants that barely made it to his ankles. He wasn't wearing a shirt though, this made Kate's heart jump a little and shivers run up and down her spine. She cleared her throat to let him know she was there. He turned around and Kate's breath caught. He had perfect, toned abs and biceps. _Where had he been hiding? _Kate thought to herself.

"Nice pants." She said. He smiled.

"Yeah, they're a little small. I drew the line at the shirt though." He said holding it up to himself. It wouldn't have covered his belly button. Kate gave a small laugh.

"Won't you get cold?" She asked.

"I've got you to keep me warm; I think I'll be fine." He joked. Neither of them had made their way to the bed yet even though it was obvious they were both tired. After a short awkward silence Kate mad her way to the bed, Castle close behind. They both flipped out their lamp lights. Now all that was left was the flickering glow from the fire below. They both kept resituating awkwardly.

"So, what was that, at the home, when you froze?" Kate asked after a while. Castle cleared his throat.

"I uh… I had this aunt; well actually she was my great aunt. She was in a home for as long as I knew her." Castle said, Kate resituated to look at him. He looked at her, his eyes looking a little sadder than normal. "When my mom couldn't find me a babysitter, which happened a lot, she would drop me off at the home. I spent lots of time there with my aunt and her fiancé Bert. Bert was… was the only father figure I really had. We couldn't play ball or anything, but we built model airplanes and played with little army men. Stuff we could do inside. He uh…" Castle cleared his throat again. "He died when I was thirteen. I remember my aunt saying she didn't want to live in a world without him in it. She died about a year after that. They never got to get married." Castle said.

"I'm so sorry Castle." She said, Castle sat up on his elbow to look at her.

"It was a long time ago." Castle said. Kate's heart reached out to him. She knew how loss felt better than anyone. She never really thought that he could be just as broken on the inside as her until now. She realized she had spent so much time being annoyed by him or spilling information about herself to actually find out about him.

"So what else don't I know about you?" She asked, trying to get his mind away from that memory. Castle smiled at her like he had been waiting, for some time, for her to ask about him.

"Um… I don't know lots I guess. There are many layers to the Castle onion." She smiled at his use of her statement. "I skipped the fifth grade. I hate chop sticks, they piss me off. I'm mildly allergic to cats. I love alfrado sauce. Cherry is my favorite scent. Alexis scares the hell out of me everyday just by growing up." He stopped and raised an eyebrow like he was asking if that was enough. There was one statement floating around in Kate's mind. Him liking the smell of cherries. She didn't realize it but he was stroking her arm.

"You're doing great you know." Kate said, he looked confused. "With Alexis, you are a great father Rick." She said. He looked a little surprised at her calling him Rick. She cursed herself for slipping. That's when she noticed his hand stroking her arm. Butterflies instantly swarmed in her stomach. They moved closer, like a magnet drew them to one another. Her eyes held his. He moved his hand from her arm to move her hair from her face. He looked at her questioningly, moving closer when she didn't protest.

"Kate, are you…" He didn't get to finish before her lips pressed against his. It was slow at first but sped up quickly. Their mouths opened and tongues dueled. Their bodies pressed against each other, trying to get closer. Kate felt his fingers weave through her hair. She didn't want to stop. Whatever had been holding her back for so long was gone. Everything about his mouth felt right. Then he pulled away and looked at her seriously.

"What does this… what does it mean?" He asked. Kate didn't have a clue, all she knew, was that she hoped this wasn't a mistake.


	10. Chapter 10

**It's not to long of a chapter but i hope it works. This could have gone two very different ways. I was going to pick the one that would most likely make you all throw things at me but then i realized, i dont want to have things thrown at me, so i wrote it this way instead. Please review. **

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Castle waited patiently for her response. He didn't want to say anything that would spook her. She needed to do this, to make the decision. He cursed himself for letting it happen when he was trying so hard not to fall into this situation. But now he had no choice. He had to wait and see. He knew if she said it was a mistake he might not recover. He loved her and needed her in his life. Without her things would feel empty.

He watched as she bit her lip in that sexy way that made his heart melt. He wanted to touch his lips to hers again. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. This was it, the moment of truth. He raised an eyebrow.

"I think this means that, I'm thinking. I need to think about this for a while." She said and with that lay down on her back, closing her eyes.

"Okay then." Castle said. At least it wasn't a no. He still had a chance. He knew the decision would be hard for her because he knew his reputation. But he wasn't asking for an answer tonight or even on this trip. He wanted to be with her but if she did not feel the same way he would do everything he could to at least stay friends.

He lay down next to her, his arms at his sides. His finger tips lightly brushed hers. She moved her hand away but slowly let it brush back against his. He heard her take a deep breath and then things went like a blur. They both sat up and crashed their lips together. Her mouth opened inviting him in and he eagerly accepted. One of his hands moved up and down her back and the other was in her hair. Her leg ran up his and then wrapped around his waist, pulling them closer. Her fingers ran threw his hair and wrapped around his neck. He pulled her closer to him, the gap closing between them, their bodies pressed against each other. She let out a little moan and Castle's head spun. Finally they parted, both breathing heavily.

"Kate?" He said her name questioningly. He was so confused and still a little dizzy. He hoped this meant yes. It should but he couldn't be sure. She smiled after a minute.

"I've thought about it and I think that we're crazy and that everyone will think that, but also that this feels right." She said. Castle let out a sigh of relief.

"I agree." He said. He leaned in and kissed her quickly on the lips. Eventually, they did sleep.

….. … …. …..

Kate woke up to the sun streaming through the small window. She stretched and looked around. Castle wasn't here with her. She frowned slightly, wanting him near her. She got up and her feet froze. She found some socks and slipped them on. She trotted down stairs to find Castle, Tim and Janice, all sitting around the small table in the kitchen.

"Morning sleepy head." Castle said. He got up and made her some coffee. They had decided last night to keep this, whatever it was, a secret, for now. As he handed her the coffee cup their fingers brushed and sent shivers down her spine. Just seeing him, with his messy morning hair gave Kate so many thoughts she would rather not have.

"What time is it?" She asked after sipping her coffee and taking a seat next to Castle.

"Almost nine." He said. She had to try hard not to be mad. She wanted to be back down the mountain by eight at the most.

"Do you know if Sammy works today?" Kate asked Tim.

"Actually, I left her a message last night asking her to meet me here before heading in. She got back to me this morning and said she would be here a little before her shift starts at noon. I didn't tell her you were here though, I've seen the shows and read the books, and if someone is guilty they would probably run from the cops." He said. Kate thanked him. It was smart of him not to tell her.

"Do you mind if I use your shower?" Kate asked.

"No not at all." Janice said getting up and grabbing a bag. "In fact, I went to the lodge this morning to get you guys some clothes that would better fit you. I had to guess on the sizes but I think they are pretty close." She handed the bag to Kate. Kate took the men's clothes out and handed them to Castle.

"Thank you. You didn't have to do that." Kate said.

"How much was it. I'll pay you back." Castle said.

"Oh, no need. I get a discount because my husbands the manager." Janice said.

… …. … ….. …

Kate jumped out of the shower and put the clothes on. The sweater was a little tight for her liking but it worked all right. The pants seemed to fit just right. In fact, Kate quite liked them. There was also a scarf that went with the sweater. Kate wrapped it around her neck and exited the bathroom.

In the living room she found Castle and Tim sitting next to the fire. Castle stood when she came in and she had to try hard not to let her mind get off track. The pair of jeans he was wearing fit him just right, making his but look great. He also had on a gray sweater with a white undershirt. He looked professional but at the same time comfortable. After realizing she was staring Kate quickly looked away. She felt Castle's eyes stay on her though. Then, the door bell rang.


	11. Chapter 11

**I uh... i changed my mind. I decided i needed to give myself a bit of a chalenge. Read and you'll understand. **

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"Hello, Samantha, I'm Detective Kate Beckett with the NYPD and this is Richard Castle we would like to ask you a few questions." Kate said when Sammy came into the cabin.

"NYPD, I don't understand?" Sammy said. She had a confused look on her face.

"We are working with the Salt Lake police department to help in the investigation of Kara Lacer's murder." Kate said. Sammy instantly froze. She kept shaking her head. A tear rolled down her cheek, followed by another and another.

"That can't be. Kara isn't dead, I saw her just a couple days ago. She was fine. I watched her board the plane. She can't be…" She trailed off, moving to a seat before she fell.

"I'm sorry." Kate said sitting next to her. "I know it's hard. I need to know, what was the nature of your relationship with Kara?" Kate asked. Janice brought over a tissue box.

"We uh… she is… was my girlfriend. We were in love." Sammy said. Castle was standing on the other side of the room, watching Kate work. He knew that it would be tough for Sammy to hear the news. He could tell she truly did love Kara. Kate asked some questions, Sammy gave her answers. They would be checking her alibi out later. Then Sammy said something that caught Rick's attention.

"Please, don't tell anybody about me and Kara that doesn't need to know." Sammy said. Kate raised an eyebrow.

"Why?"

"I can't…. my parents don't know and I would like to keep it that way. They don't… they don't accept this lifestyle and I don't have the heart to tell them that I am gay. So please… try and keep it on the down low."

Kate nodded and stood up. "I'll do my best." Kate said.

….. …. ….. ….. ….

They were driving down the mountain slowly. There was a ton of traffic just like when they had come up yesterday only going down this time. Kate seemed distracted. She kept biting her lip and not looking at Castle.

"Kate, what's wrong?" Castle asked, taking her free hand in his own. She looked down at their hands before looking up at him.

"That can't happen anymore." Castle felt confused. _She didn't want him to hold her hand?_

"What can't happen?" He asked. He really hoped she wasn't backing out; it would kill him if she did. She looked like she was thinking, then traffic started to move and she moved her hand from his. He felt his heart go ice cold with pain. She was backing out, he could tell. She was blocking herself off from him, shutting him out. Castle felt a rush of emotions run through him. The traffic stopped and she looked at him with those big green eyes, begging him to understand.

"Last night, this, us." She said. He felt another stab in his heart.

"Kate…" He didn't know what to say. For the first time he was at a loss for words. "I don't understand."

"It was a mistake..." She said. He felt his heart shatter completely. Is that really what she thought of it? A mistake. To him it was had been one of the best choices he had ever made. But now he knew he had been right all along. He was planning on going on as friends; he thought he might be able to do it to, until last night. He shared things with her, things he wouldn't normally share. And she was there for him.

He felt his world begin to crumble, but he couldn't let that happen, not here and not now. He had a choice to make. He could tell her how he felt and let it ruin their relationship forever, or he could lie and agree with her. He turned to her stone faced.

"Yeah, a mistake." He said. It was one of the hardest things he had ever had to say. He turned away from her and looked out the window, knowing, that just looking at her would cause him immense pain.

… … … ….

It took Kate a moment to realize what she had just done. She regretted it instantly but knew she couldn't change it. Not now, the damage was done. She was trying to protect herself, not knowing, that by doing this she would cause herself great pain. She already felt it. The loneliness. She tried to stay strong, but one thing kept running through her mind… and that was that she just made the biggest mistake of her life.

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**Im sorry im sorry im sorry. Please dont be to mad and please dont stop reading. Please review and tell me your thoughts though. Again sorry. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay... so i feel super proud of myself for updating both of my stories once today, and then BLAMO heres another update. Im on a roll. I like that word... blamo.. Is that a real word? If not it should be. **

**So its a bit depressing to read but in the next couple chapters thing will sheer up. Also, i know i said i was gonna go kinda slow with this story but i got into it and now things are going to be going faster. Not to fast tho... i hope. So as always... Please review. I really apriciate it and i try to reply to most of you. **

**So... i wanna send a big thanks to Tycho. You read and review all of my stories and i really appriciate it. thanks. REVIEW!**

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They met the boys at the hotel. Castle went straight into the bedroom, shutting the door. He claimed he needed a nap but Kate knew better. She wished she could change it. When the boys questioned it she brushed them off. She didn't want to get into it. She was just sending the boys to check out Sammy's alibi when Castle came out of the room. He showed no emotions on his face, and that worried Kate. He was always full of emotion. Full of life and… and love. He had his bag in his hand and he was all bundled up as if he was going somewhere. The case wasn't over yet though, so he wouldn't leave. Would he? Kate felt so bad, she knew she did this. He had tried to act all cool in the car but she knew it was her fault.

"You going somewhere bro?" Esposito asked. The sides of his mouth twitched as he tried and failed at smiling. He ran a hand through his hair and then spoke.

"Uh… yeah. I hate to leave you guys but Alexis wants me home. I wish I could stay and help with the investigation but she uh… she misses me too much." He walked towards the door leaving Esposito and Ryan with confused looks. Kate trailed after him down the hotel hallway.

"Castle, wait… I'm sorry. I just…" Kate grabbed his arm and he shrugged her off, keeping his eyes from meeting hers.

"Beckett, don't, you said it yourself it was a mistake. This has all just been one big mistake." He said coldly. Kate felt like a knife just stabbed her heart.

"Castle…" She felt a tear run down her cheek and she quickly blinked the others away. He turned to her, finally showing his eyes. She could see all the pain he was trying to hide behind them. She knew she caused him this pain, that it was her fault he was leaving and her fault he felt this way, so what could she say. So instead she went into cop mode, blocking out all emotions. "I'm sorry you have to go, we'll see you when we get back to town." She said. He frowned slightly, so many emotions flowing through his eyes alone.

"Maybe." It came out in a whisper. He turned and walked away and Kate didn't have the strength to try and stop him. She couldn't speak, or move, it even took her a bit to catch her breath.

She broke fun loving Richard Castle. Another tear slipped down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly, trying to get a handle on her emotions. She couldn't let the boys see her like this. They couldn't know anything.

She waited for them to leave before locking the hotel door and sitting on the fixed couch. She grabbed a pillow and pulled her knees to her chest and cried. She ruined her life today.

… ….. ….. ….

The plane ride was long and lonely. He tried to smile at people when they recognized him in the airport but he couldn't do it. He hurt too much. The worst thing was that he felt bad for what he had said to her. He shouldn't have done that. No matter how bad he felt he shouldn't have done it. He was better than that. But she caused this pain and misery he was feeling. She was the reason he felt like he had a hole in his chest. _A mistake. _He couldn't get it out of his mind. He finally had given into the temptations knowing he would prove he wouldn't hurt her and she ended up hurting him. He used humor to keep people out and to keep himself from getting attached. Nothing ever lasted in his life. Everyone left, except Alexis. She was all he really had in to look forward to in this world.

He put the key in his lock and slowly opened the door, hoping Alexis might not be home. He hadn't told her he was coming back and he wanted time to collect himself before he had to tell her. He was out of luck though, when he opened the door she was on the couch snuggled up next to Ashley. They were watching a movie. When she noticed him she had a confused look.

"Dad, what are you doing home?" She asked, getting up and coming over to him. Without saying a word he wrapped her in a hug. Alexis, knowing something was wrong, tightly wrapped her arms around him as well. They didn't let go for a long time. Castle didn't want to. He knew when he did; things would go back to feeling cold. Eventually they parted and she looked up at him seriously. "What's wrong? What happened?" She asked. Ashley came up, kissed her on the forehead and let himself out.

"I don't want to talk about it. Not yet anyway." Castle said. He gave her another quick squeeze and retreated to his bedroom. His laptop was on his bed. He felt like throwing it, but he didn't. Instead he opened his email. He had someone he needed to contact.


	13. Chapter 13

**This chapter is mainly about the case. Their wont be a lot of Caskett until the case is over, which yes sucks but should be soon. Rean and enjoy.**

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Esposito knew something was wrong. Anyone could see that. But he also knew that asking Beckett wasn't such a good idea. Whatever had happened up on that mountain though, it was bad. He had never seen Castle so… emotionless and unhappy. He didn't like it, it wasn't Castle. Beckett tried to keep her emotions hidden but he had known her to long. He knew she was upset when they got back and even more upset after talking to Castle in the hall. But it wasn't his place to do anything about it.

They reached the Mayan restaurant and Esposito was a little amazed. It was one of the coolest restaurants he had ever seen, and he was just in the main lobby. It was like a jungle, trees and vines everywhere. He could hear music coming from the back and he wanted to see what it was about. The manager came walking up to them, ready to answer questions.

"I'm detective Ryan and this is Detective Esposito, we would like to ask you a couple questions if that is okay."

"Uh… sure…. Did I do something?" He asked.

"No, this is actually about a customer from two days ago. We just need to know if she was really here or not. Do you have security cameras?" Ryan asked. Esposito liked letting Ryan lead once in a while, it gave him time to think.

"Yes I do… right this way." The manager said. He led them to a small room that had three screens switching from place to place in the restaurant. The back part of the restaurant made Esposito like this place even more.

Ryan pulled a picture of Sammy out of his pocket and showed it to the manager.

"This is who we are going to be looking for in the videos." The manager looked at the picture and then up at them.

"No need, I know her, she was here." He said.

"How do you know her?" They asked.

"Her fiancé, Nicolas, he's a diver here." The manager said. Esposito smiled at this new information. Sammy, Kara's girlfriend was engaged to a guy.

"Are you sure?" Esposito asked.

"Yes, she comes in all the time when she's not working. She loves to watch him dive. Only, a couple days ago she came in and he wasn't diving, she stayed for the whole show though." The manager said.

"Do you know where we can find Nicolas?" Esposito asked. The manager looked at his watch and then at a screen showing a cliff.

"He is diving in a couple minutes. I can take you back there if you would like."

"Yes, please do." Ryan said.

The whole atmosphere of the restaurant amazed Esposito. It was literally like they were in the jungle. There were tree-houses and robot birds and a water fall cliff that people were doing flips off of into a pool below.

That's him." The manager said pointing to the next diver. He jumped and did a flip and then went into the water. "Come on, I'll take you to the other side of the cliff."

They weaved through the tables of people and made their way to a door that said staff only. Entering it they found themselves in a small break room like area where a clown was sitting watching TV.

"He's here for the kids, but most of them are in school right now." The manager said. He led them to another door, this one said locker room.

There were a bunch of wet guys all drying off in the locker room. Finding Nicolas wasn't hard though, he was just entering at the same time they were.

"Nicolas, could we talk to you for a bit?" The manager asked. Nicolas looked at them, his eyes went wide and he bolted. He went through a door on his left and there were a bunch of girly screams meaning he entered the girl's locker room. Esposito chased him and Ryan went around meeting him out back. He heard the girls whispering things like 'look at that gun' or 'what did Nick do?' He exited the locker room and saw the back of Nicks head as he went out the emergency door. Esposito darted out the door and was right behind him when Ryan popped out and knocked him down. He tried to get the cuffs on him but he was slippery. It took both of them to cuff him and get him in the car.

….. ….. … …. …

"I didn't kill Kara!" Nick said again, more angry this time. Beckett watched from the observation room. The boys caught him so she let them interrogate.

"What happened to Rick?" Detective Hunce asked coming up behind her. Kate felt herself tense.

"He went home." She said flatly, hoping Hunce wouldn't say anything more.

"To bad, we were going to go to dinner once the case was solved." Kate felt like she was taunting her. When Kate didn't reply Hunce spoke again. "Hey, I get it; you don't like me flirting with him… you like him." She said and Kate turned to look at her with a confused look. "I've known you for what, like a day, and I can tell that you two really like each other. I was just trying to have some fun, it was harmless I swear."

"We don't… we're not…" Kate fumbled for words. She barely knew this woman.

"I'm a detective too you know. I could tell just by the way you to act around each other. The way he lights up when you walk into the room. You're the same way too, you are more… don't take this the wrong way… human around him."

"Excuse me?" Kate didn't get what she was trying to do.

"No, maybe that wasn't the right way to say it. You're happier around him. You joke and smile and have fun, not a lot of cops who have seen what you have can still do that and have it be truly genuine. He's good for you." She paused for a minute and Kate let it sink in. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, I barely know you, I just wanted you to know that Rick could flirt with me until the cows come home, but it wouldn't mean anything unless it was you." She said and then she left. Kate didn't know what to say. She didn't know Hunce and Hunce didn't know her but she could see how they felt. They had only known each other for a little over a day… was it really that obvious?

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**I know it seems kind of strange that Hunce would be saying all of this but i didnt want her to be a total bitch through the whole thing. Anywho... The Mayan... if your ever in Utah you should go there. The food is okay but the atmosphere is freakin amazing. I love it. The divers are pretty cool and then inbetween shows kids can go up to this little room with this big screan and watch old movies or do little activities. Its a really cool place.  
As always... Review. (On and by the way... im updating so much because of a four day weekend so the updates will be coming slower again around monday... sorry) **


	14. Chapter 14

**Okay, so i know they are all going to seem out of charecter in this, but this was the best way i could write what i wanted to have happen. It wasnt easy and that is partly why it took a week to write. I kept going back and changing things. This is what i ended up with and i hope you like it. Please review and their will be more to come. **

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The airplane felt cold and lonely. Kate tried not to think about what she was going back to in New York, what she was going to do. She tried to focus on the case. How he had admitted to killing her. He wouldn't tell them how he got her to New York though. Every time they brought it up he just smiled and shook his head. Detective Hunce said she would work at it and then they left. Now she was on a plane, headed back to New York, back to the mess she made. She didn't know what she would say to Castle. She didn't even know when she would see him next. The captain said he got an email from him and she should come in and talk about it. She didn't want to though. Thinking about what she did hurt. She screwed everything up. She wished she could take it back; tell him it wasn't a mistake. She didn't feel that way then or now. She was scared before, unsure of what to do. So she blocked herself off. She didn't know what it was about him that makes her act the way she does when she's around him. She wanted to know though. She wanted to explore her feeling for him. She knew that now, but it was too late.

The captain put on the fasten seatbelt sign and they prepared to land. After getting off the plane and getting her luggage she said goodnight to the boys and they went their separate ways. She made her way outside and realized she didn't have a car that Castle picked her up. Almost on auto-pilot she hailed a cab and gave the cabbie the address. She watched out the window, mesmerized by all the familiar things. She had missed the tall buildings while she was away. The tallest building in Utah was a bank and it wasn't that tall compared to New York. As she watched buildings go by she realized she was headed in the wrong direction. She didn't want to go home, not yet. She gave the cabbie another address and he turned around, rolling his eyes. She thought he might have mumbled 'women' under his breath but wasn't sure.

Kate felt the nerves ball up in her stomach. She didn't know what to expect. She got out of the cab and entered the building. The doorman smiled as she walked by. She took the elevator up to _his _floor. Stepping off the elevator she stared down the hall at his door. It was right there. This was the final stretch. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, hoping for the best and bracing herself for the worst. She took a few steps and stopped, calming herself again. Then she stepped up to his door and knocked.

Alexis answered with a smile on her face that quickly faded. She looked like she was struggling with a decision before finally doing something very un-Alexis. She shut the door in Kate's face.

…. ….. …. …. …

"Who was it?" Castle asked coming down the stairs. He was on his way to answer the door when Alexis shut it.

"No one." Alexis said. She looked mad and not like his sweet little girl. So he made his way to the door and opened it to see a very nervous looking Kate. He felt his heart sink. He knew this would come but he didn't know it would be this soon.

"Hey Castle." Kate said sort of smiling.

"Beckett." He said more coldly then he meant to. He wanted to be the bigger person but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"Can I talk to you?" She asked. He ran a hand through his hair as he contemplated it.

"It's late." He finally said. Her face quickly fell and she looked sad. He hated that he was making her sad.

"Yeah… uh… I'm sorry. I just really need to talk to you." She said. Castle tried really hard not to blow up at her for hurting him and he could see Alexis standing close probably feeling the same way.

"Good night Kate." He said and shut the door.

…. …. ….. … ….

Kate had expected bad but she didn't know it would hurt this much. She had to do something though. If she didn't she would lose her braveness and just give up. She didn't want that. So she did something cliché and it made her feel like a complete moron. She hoped no one was still awake.

… ….. ….. …

After shutting the door Alexis quickly hugged him. She didn't want her dad to fall apart any more then he already had. It was as if she felt that holding on to him would hold him together. He wasn't expecting to hear from Kate again, but he did. She started talking to him through the door.

"Castle… I need you to listen to me… to hear me out. I'm sorry, okay. I didn't mean it. I was wrong. I thought I was protecting myself from getting hurt but instead I hurt both of us. I know you don't want to forgive me and you shouldn't. I hurt you, I know that. I just…. I want you to know that it kills me to know I'm hurting you. I tried to keep myself all boxed up. I tried to keep you from getting in, we both know this. But you did. You weaseled your way through the cracks. I'm tired of keeping my feelings at bay. I want to be with you… Rick. I love you more then you will ever know. I'm so very… truly sorry that I hurt you. If anything I just want you to know that. I'm sorry. And I know this all probably sounds stupid to you, I'm not perfect, but it's the truth." She stopped talking and Alexis looked up at him.

He didn't know what to do. He wanted to believe it all but she lied to him. Something he never thought she would do. It was so far beneath her. But this… gesture she was making right now was big, and it too was not like Beckett. So what should he do?

…. … … …. ….

Kate felt like an idiot. She opened herself up and in her mind it all played out perfectly, but now, in reality, things weren't perfect. Why should this end up in her favor though, nothing else ever does. Kate leaned her head against the wall and let a tear slide down her cheek. She knew that if he chose her he would have opened the door by now. She knew she lost, and she knew she was going to pay for it for a very long time. She didn't know if her heart would ever recover.

She stood up strait, and looked at his door. "Well, goodbye then." She said and she turned. Then… the door opened. She turned and saw Castle, gesturing for her to come inside. She walked barely inside the door before turning to him. "I'm so sorry. I just… She had a few more tears sliding down her cheeks.

"Your apology is accepted but we NEED to talk."


	15. Chapter 15

**HEY! I want to say that I am super sorry that i havnt updated in like... forever. I was planning on it because I had a super long weekend for thanksgiving but on thanksgiving I fell and I sprained my wrist and toree tendons in my shoulder. It hurts to write so i havnt until today because i thought you all deserved an update even though this is super small. **

**Well its probably not as good as you all thought it would be but i did the best i could considering im on pain meds for the shoulder. the wrist has healed up quite nicely tho. My doctor said my shoulder should be doing a lil better by now and it's not so i have to do physical therapy which hurts it even more. Anyway I'll let you get to the small little chapter now. I should have a new chapter up for Today Tomorrow Always soon too. Im just working a lil bit at a time. Okay Read and Review!**

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Nothing happened for a while. Rick just sat there looking at her, and then at his hands, then back at her. Kate didn't want to rush him. He was giving her a chance she didn't feel she deserved. She would sit there all night if she had to. Alexis started to come down stairs and stopped. She saw Kate and tried to smile but then turned and left. Castle didn't seem to notice. He cleared his throat a couple of times before he spoke.

"I don't know." He said and shook his head. "I don't know what to do. I want to be able to just forget it, to pretend it didn't happen. Not the you and me thing, the you not…" He trailed off. He put his head in his hands and let out a long breath.

"I know I hurt you. I know this is hard for you." He looked up at her with those blue eyes looking so heavy, like he hadn't slept in years. "I can go, if you want me to. We can talk later." She said not knowing what the right thing to do was.

"No, I need to tell you what's on my mind." He said. He looked down at his hands again before looking up at her and talking. "Do you think that we… we could go back to the way things were for just a little while and then start over?" He asked and Kate felt her heart warm. This meant she still had a chance, and that he was willing to actually forgive her for all the pain she had caused. She felt a tear slide down her cheek. She couldn't remember the last time she was as emotional as she was tonight.

"I would like that." She said. Castle ran a hand through his hair.

"Please, because I don't think that I could take it, if you think you are going to back out again say so now." He said. It hurt Kate to even think that she would ever cause him this much pain again. She wouldn't though.

"I'm all in, and I am so sorry that I wasn't before." She said. Castle nodded. Then he stood and led her to the door. "So will I see you at work tomorrow?" She asked hopefully.

A smile twitched at his lips before he answered. "Yeah."


	16. Chapter 16

**This is another small chapter but i just dont know what to write for this story any more. Sorry. **

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A few weeks later

Kate stepped off the elevator and was surprised to see a cup of coffee at her desk. She walked towards her desk, looking around for him. It would be the first time in weeks that he has brought her coffee. She was disappointed when she didn't see him but she knew it was from him because it was exactly right. She sipped at it and sifted through the paperwork on her desk.

"Good morning." Castle said coming up behind her. He had startled her but she didn't show it.

"Good morning." She smiled at him and took another sip. He sat down in his chair and just looked at her. In the past week things seemed to be closer to normal that they had in a while. "Can I help you?" She asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yes actually, I was wondering if… if you would go out with me tonight?" He asked and she felt her whole body warm up. Finally.

"Yes." She said eagerly. He grinned his famous grin that made her knees week and then someone sneezed and they both looked in that direction.

"Was that you Esposito?" Castle asked.

"Yeah, sorry, I think I might have a…" His sneeze cut him off.

"That is the weirdest sounding sneeze I have ever heard." Castle stated jokingly. Kate just watched as Esposito glared at him through puffy eyes.

She still felt so bad about hurting Castle, but he seemed to be fine. Although, in her line of work, she knew that things weren't always what they seemed. She knew it would take a while for him to open himself up to her completely, but she was willing to wait as long as it took. She wasn't giving up or backing out, not this time.

Esposito sneezed three times in a row and Montgomery popped his head out of his office. "Go home Esposito. Get some rest." Esposito nodded and grabbed his things.

"Or go to a doctor and ask them why you sneeze so funny." Castle added. Esposito grabbed a tissue from Kate's box on her desk, coughed on it, and threw it at Castle. "That's just rude."

"I hope you get sick" Esposito joked before walking away. Ryan came out of the bathroom and raised an eyebrow.

"What did I miss?" He asked. "Because I heard this crazy weird noise while I was in the bathroom."

"Shut up Castle!" Esposito yelled before he had a chance to say anything. The elevator dinged and Esposito was officially gone.

"Seriously, what did I miss?" Ryan asked again. Castle looked at him with a wicked grin.

"Someone brought a pig to work today and it got stung by a bee." Castle said and Kate laughed. That is kind of what Esposito's sneeze sounded like.

"For some reason I don't believe you." He said and Castle shrugged.

"It's the truth." Montgomery said from his office. "I saw it too."

"Yep." Kate said.

"You guys suck."

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**Review**


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